We are the sum of our experiences. Change one incident along the way, and you'd be a different person. And while hindsight is 20/20, life is always best lived in the moment. I'm not saying to throw caution to the wind, but tomorrow comes from what you're doing for today. As the grind of Covid persists, it's even more critical to be present in your life and make peace with your past.
Often it's hard for me to listen to some of my older tracks and not thrown into an emotional meltdown. That's one of the quintessential examples of my struggle with releasing Better Late Than Never. In songwriting, or at least for me, there will undoubtedly be a piece of me in everything I write, even if it's not autobiographical. When I hear some of the jingles I wrote back in the day, I laugh because I can precisely gauge where I was in my life. But a song is not just the words and music; it's the performance and the people that contribute. As much of my past is ensconced in violence, my music career was not exempt. And although I have forgiven those who caused me so much pain, I still hear them in my music, and with every single note, I have to forgive again. Constant forgiving can be exhausting, but it's far easier than holding on to anger.
So today, as I look back from where I came to where I want to be, I have to pause and remember where I am. It's not nirvana, but it's sure ain't hell, as I've been there numerous times. I'm itching for this next phase to kick in and live it without fear. And I know that whatever comes next, I'm definitely up for the challenge.
Catch my From Velvet with Love live stream tonight at 9:30 pm EST on Bandcamp. Tickets are free.